Prerna ( Ritu )
What I am writing may sound too good to be true. But I assure you that I am drinking chai and nothing else as I write this little piece about how Lina and Cathy held my hand during the last few weeks of my pregnancy, during labour and until my daughter Nanda was 40 days old.
I started to go for walks with Lina only because she made me comfortable with my big belly. I was too conscious walking around town with anyone else. Weekly check-ups, being there for me when I was anxious, gently checking me from eating too many bananas (!). She even volunteered to help in the Community Hospital so that they would let her be around for my labour. Every day for two hours she sat in the hospital to help out women in labour. Most times, there were none but she went, nevertheless. She assuaged my fears, never led me down the garden path about labour. She even showed me how a baby is born with the help of dummy dolls. Ok, this is beginning to look like a fan mail.
Labour for me was long. Started at 3 am, Oct 12, and Nanda was born Oct 13, 5.15 pm. And I made it through without an epidural just because of all the support around me. I could not rest when contractions hit and found it easier to walk, so walk she did with me. I wanted to count, she counted with me, made eye contact with me and encouraged me with words when I didn't want the comfort of touch. I bit my mom's hand when the pain became too much. Five minutes later, I reached out for Lina and she gladly offered it! But I didn't bite. When I was too tired after active labour, I think the only thing that held me together was Cathy and Lina saying, "This is the good part!" In between all this, Lina found time to take calls from husband all the way from Kolkata to find out how things were and telling him how it was going and then rushing back to hold my hand.
Once Nanda was born, my mother and the nurse were with the newborn. Lina, I feel, lives to see newborns, but chose to stay with me all along, smiling at me and telling me all is ok. When Nanda was given to me, she helped me with feeding her and Nanda latched on! Like that! I had heard tales about mother and baby not knowing what to do. Lina made it look like second nature to both of us. My husband maintains Nanda has taken to breastfeeding so well only because her first time was so effortless.
You would think labour was the tough part but taking care of Nanda took the cake. She taught me different postures I could feed Nanda in, what I should do for the stitches, what I should eat, and at the same time, letting my folks carry out their rituals and other things with me and Nanda as long as they didn't affect us negatively. She merely smiled naughtily when I sweated gallons as my mother packed me in clothes and more clothes (that's how it is done in our community for a woman who has just had a baby) but put her foot down with one of the community women who wanted to express my milk everyday so that my breasts become less bulky (the reason being the more milk was expressed, the more milk I would produce, making them more painful and bulky). She was there every afternoon and evening with Cathy, holding Nanda for hours while my mother and I took a breather, ate or just rested. She even went back from home without meeting me at times, if she knew I was sleeping, that is after I had invited her over! She advised me about Nanda's rashes, sleepless nights.
Once I texted her at 1 am and asked her for help. That was when I was in Delhi, on my way to Kolkata and Nanda was probably missing familiar sounds and smells. She was ballistic about being taken away from the place she had gotten used to. I don't think I would have survived the night without those several messages she sent me. Even today I text her about probable teething, heat rashes and so on.
Motherhood makes you stronger if you have people like Lina and Cathy to see you through the first few days. I told you this reads like too good to be true. But believe me, every word is true. If only I could tell you how much they have done for me. Like I tell my mother, "Ma, khel khel mein bachha ho gaya."
Please call me if you want to verify any part of this story. Lina has my phone number.
Regards and good luck with your pregnancy.
Prerna (Ritu)
